A Cape

My Cape

I have not always fit in, I have battled my shyness for much of my early life. Such a focus on it has allowed me to be incredibly personable today. My most memorable run-in with shyness was my introduction to school. I was in kindergarten being brought to school by my Mom, Dad, or Grandma. I felt remarkably unsafe and would hide behind my parental figures. I was not socializing and simply the idea of being in a setting of a bunch of kids I didn’t know was foreign to me. I lived in a rural town and it was rare for me to be around other kids, especially to this magnitude.

My parents recognized this and they each had their approaches to help me through it. All of them were helpful, my dad let me be myself, and my mom welcomed me with her big heart. My grandma had a stroke of genius and sewed a red silk cape for me. She gave it to me and said that I could be courageous in this cape, no one would hurt me, and that I had nothing to fear with it on.

From then on I never took the cape off, I attached myself to it and all that it stood for. I would have to be dead asleep if my grandma were to get it off of me to wash it. I went to school proud as can be with my cape, I began socializing and interacting with the other kids. I stood up for kids getting bullied because I was now a superhero and that is what superheroes did. I interacted with anyone, and I was given the courage to be me. I can’t thank my support team enough because that socializing dissolved the shyness that would have caused me to hide from the world.

I was seen for who I was in my red cape and was free to express myself entirely. I made friends with most of the kids and before long other boys went home telling their parents about my cape and said that they wanted one too. Every boy from then on had a cape and it was a sight to see us all on the playground. I was the unofficial leader of the red capes, freeing us all from fear and doing what was right like a superhero.

At some point I had grown out of the cape, I no longer had a need for it. I was able to socialize and my shyness was lifted. I went a long time without the need for a cape in fact nearly forgetting about my cape altogether. 

Once I became an adult my mind was equipped to understand the full magnitude of this world. I had just come off of the identity search of my late teens and I felt the eyes of the world on me. I didn’t know who I was and in the midst of this uncertainty, I felt my shyness creep back.

At the time I was attached to wearing fanny packs, they kept all my things in one place protected by a zipper which was crucial for my active lifestyle. My dad always had a fanny pack for as long as I have known him. His wisdom was to be me, explaining I could be a poor expression of someone else or I could be the best expression of me. At this time that was just what I needed, I just needed to be myself. I accepted myself for who I was and simple as that my identity crisis was resolved. I didn’t need to conform myself to the labels or groups but instead be the unhindered me. It was the fanny pack that embodied this.

I found that I fit in by being different, there were numerous groups that I associated with and was not confined to an image imposed on me. fanny packs themselves are different, so few wear them which boggles my mind because the utility that they provide is unparalleled. That being said they have a stigma of only being worn by moms or old men. Personally, I associated them with my dad, but none of these associations interested me. However I was above the image being imposed on me, I was going to give it my own image. I was once again invincible, the opinions of others could not hurt me, I had nothing to fear, and I was free to be my courageous self.

I was reunited with my cape in a different form.