A Letter Of Advice and Wisdom To Myself
*This letter is written to me as though I was 98 years old. It is relieved from the grammar of personal pronouns. The I, My, We, You, and so on get convoluted quickly.
Pardon any confusion this may create.
5 Theories:
Self-efficacy, Attachment theory, Ageism, Socioeconomic Status, Nature and Nurture
Ean Sequoia Jones you are wise and will continue to be so throughout your life. I am a future version of yourself who has had all of the life experiences that you will have. We share the same life experiences although I have experienced what you are now shaping. I have found that there are few people better to take advice from than myself. Hear me and let us both be better for it.
Being well-loved in a kind permissive parenting style was just what I needed for a good start in life. According to Attachment Theory, the type of care that we receive as infants and throughout our childhood can have a significant influence on the intimate relationships that we have as adults. My parents let me regulate myself and as a result I learned lessons in my own way. It was then up to me to apply these lessons. Through this process I became self-sufficient, determined, and filled with self-efficacy.
My parents were both full time workers, so our time together was fit in where it could be. My parents loved me and offered me a great deal. I had a lot of time to myself. Growing up as an only child I developed an imagination that is extraordinary and kept me entertained. Now in adulthood I am a painter and writer which allows me express my imagination.
If my parents had a another parenting style that is outlined in attachment theory I don’t think that I would be as well off. I don’t take kindly to being told what to do, enjoying when my action are under my control.
In my intimate relationship I still enjoy my space, however the time that we have together is well utilized and passionate. I have found that others don’t often want as much space as I do, which has filled me with a sense of over-commitment when they want to spend more time together than is good for me.
I am discovering my boundaries and finding a voice to communicate my them. In this way I am developing as a partner in an intimate relationship. I will find that my childhood will influence my relationships. Even so I am always becoming so I can always accommodate the ebbs and flows of a relationship.
Nature and Nurture
My parent’s Permissive parenting style is at the core of my nurturing. My childhood environment has been pretty constant and has contributed to my nurturing. The socioeconomic statues of my upbringing has also influenced me. I have grown up in California which rich in comparison to the rest of the world. However Butte county is an impoverished area in comparison. At 21 I live in Oroville which I refer to as the armpit of California. My family is impoverished yet we did not have that many economic responsibilities. In this way I had what I needed and then some. For this I remarkably thankful. I have grown to have a distaste for money, I see it as a rat race that everyone is bound to lose. I have searched for and developed other kinds of wealth. My family in particular is very involved in our local communities. For this reason I feel wealthier than most.
My nature is unique and genuine there are simply somethings that can not be taught. I have been give many great gifts that are a part of my nature. My curiosity has always been strong which is accompanied by patience to explore my curiosities thoroughly. As a result I am always doing something new and have an endless list of hobbies. My smile is most notable as I greet everyone with kindness. I am quick to friendship and of enemies I have none.
Ageism
The world sees you and me differently. You and I see each other differently and the same. The difference in age is so much more than a number because there is so much that goes on through the aging process. There are many perspectives that you can take and some may lead you to believe that we are different and others would suggest that we are the same. It is not clear, however, what is clear is that there isn’t another person like us. We are original. We are not copies of others and no one could copy us.
When seen as a youngster you want to have your opinion respected as though you were older. When you are old you want people to still think of you as fun and lively. Wanting something is a far cry from having it. Everything has its time and that time comes and goes. Age is a number, another label from people to try to more easily understand you. That is the thing our personality has depth and understanding us entirely is not done quickly. People want these labels so that they can make an assumption that dissolves their uncertainty. This will happen no matter what, however we are the ones expressing our package of brief understanding to the other person. We have enjoyed maintaining our mystery to invoke curiosity. Seeing other people's curiosity gives us hope that we are not alone in pondering this human experience.
In the name of invoking mystery, we use the answer of ageless to the question “how old are you.” In this way, we are not labeled with a number that is meant to say something about how much life experience we have. As we both know we have had more life experience in a year than a number can quantify. Along this train of thought, I was curious about what would happen if I did not share my name with people until it was actually useful. I go by many names and am often given nicknames. In this way, a certain name might better suit the relationship. People upon first meeting don’t need to know my name because they would have few opportunities to use it. Names are also easy to forget when you first hear them because you do not have any previous experience with that person that you can connect the name to. A new person must earn my name, There is power in names that I am just beginning to understand.
You have had life for 21 years now, there is much of your life still ahead of you yet a healthy amount of it has already been experienced. Remember that we are our memories, the life lessons forged from experience are the foundation of your actions in the present moment. Embrace where you are at in life, you have enough life experience to set your own direction while having so much of your life still ahead. This offers you an amazing array of possibilities. Embrace this because at my place in life near the time that our life is transferred the possibilities are closing.
This life of ours will be filled with the magic of the extraordinary. There are many paths in your world, many treadmills, and many dead ends. These have been created by others and you may find yourself running into them if you are walking other’s paths. There is no path that is more suited for you than your own. Hold true to who you are and choose your steps because the choices that you make reveal who you are.
Self Efficacy
I believe in myself, I have said many times that self-determination was my superpower. Yet it was missing a vital part that self-efficacy fills. I empower myself, with encouraging thoughts and the patience to learn the task at hand. I refrain from setting expectations but instead do my best and accept the outcome. Self- efficacy has given me some of the words I have been missing to describe myself and the ways in which I excel in my life.
You are here to express the soul of Ean Sequoia Jones, NOT to fill the role of another. There are things only you can do and they will bring you the greatest satisfaction.
People can drain you if you take them personally,
don’t stoop to their level.
Enjoy life as you live it
Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.
Life was transferred into me and a day will come that it is transferred elsewhere. This world is beautiful and I am most grateful to have had the opportunity to experience it. I know that life will come after me and perhaps my life force will be transferred into new life. Life is rightfully a fascination of mine, we are surviving and at times embodying our unique expression of life. There are endless things to say about our modern time, good, bad, or indifferent. Nevertheless, it is the place in time that I am able to live within. I have self-love that strengthens my belief in myself and my soulful expression. This is critical in these modern times that want to tell me what to do. They dangle false incentives that are distractions from much of the true meaning of this world. The superficial runs rampant among the masses. There are so many people in this world, each supplying the human race with something. It is remarkable to live in the world that I do. I marvel about it regularly. In all of this vastness, it is difficult to discern between the meaning and the noise.
If there is one thing that I am clear about it is that I am not superficial. I am unique and different. I am Ean Sequoia Jones and more. There are no labels to define me and the actions of my life are to express the poem that is me. The Poetic light that my creator wrote so that I might contribute my part in the expression of life.
My advice
Express
Express
Express
When expressing is difficult
Learn
Learn
Learn
So that you can freely
Express
Express
Express
I am who I am, that is just who I am meant to be
When you don't know who you are; I am you.
When you know who you are; you are you.
When you know who I am; we are we.
